Facebook adds around 700 000 new members to its site each day which coincidentally is the same number of weddings I've attended in the last year or so. Friends moving in with their partners and friends having children are common place and I don't even blink anymore when referred to as "Uncle Mark". 21st birthday celebrations have long since been replaced with Christenings.
With this in mind, whenever I'm out I naturally get asked when I'm gonna settle down. You would think I feel pressurized to do it sooner than later because everyone else is but I'm more interested in HOW it happens than WHEN. The funny thing is, it's something I've thought about for a long time; not just lately because so many people are doing it or because I'm getting to the "right age". So here's what I think.
The Mark most people know is loud and at times brash, never scared of a drink or seventeen, loves to party and occasionally likes to swing from chandeliers (clothing is optional). Settling down simply doesn't look like an option from the outside.
And yes, admittedly that's ONE real side of me. I have a little naughty streak that will never really go away but at the same time, few people know another side to me. Now I can't really blame the masses for not knowing all facets relating to Mark Sham because I choose, most of the time, to adopt the persona of a swing door in a hurricane.
Enter the Mark Sham you may not know. Even for those of you who know me well, it might be slightly foreign for you to hear (read) me talking (typing) with this slightly philosophical attitude. It's a balancing act of farm animal vs. the knight in shining armor I've longed to be for so long. The truth is I've always wanted to settle down, get married and eventually have kids. I can't think of anything better. I just believe there's a process to it all (HOW), a time for it all (WHEN) and a lady that answers all the questions (WHO). But boys will be boys and before then, a few things need to happen.
I am a firm believer that you get one opportunity in your life to impersonate Charlie Sheen and I believe I did it at the right time with some expertly chosen partners in crime. There was immense value in getting bits of rubbish out my system and I have few regrets but as I alluded to in The good old days! Or the good old days?, the madness in its very unrefined format must come to an end and we must move onto a different phase of life. That certainly doesn't mean the end of tequila and the famous peep shows I offer from time to time. It's just about the daily trapeze act; having fun and doing all you can to entertain while still staying up and moving forward on a very thinly walked tight rope.
I can't pinpoint the exact day I broke through the twilight zone and began to shimmer in the sun light but it definitely happened and my mentality is vastly different than it was say eighteen months ago. I've almost come full circle and amazingly survived the process. However, never being one to rush things, I'm not saying I want to get married this second. I'm simply saying I can see light at the end of the tunnel. This mentality answers the WHEN.
Then you should know that I have some fundamental beliefs regarding relationships. A lot of people think I'm not interesting in being involved cos I've been single for so long but the truth is I've always taken relationships very seriously. I don't believe in settling because you're lonely. I believe you should always take your time to get to know the person you're with. Cheating simply isn't an option. I don't see the point to spending time, effort and money on a person only to mess around. Charlie Sheen gets away with being a pimp because he owes no one anything. And ultimately, I do believe you will know when you meet the person you're meant to be with. This mentality coincides with WHEN and answers HOW.
On the 22nd of January 2008, I wrote a letter to my future wife; whoever she turns out to be. It had been on my mind for a long time before then but on this day I felt inspired to record in words what I felt. Allow me to end this blog post by telling you WHO I want to marry:
To That Special Someone! This is for you!
He loves her. Of that, there is no doubt. He now has someone to believe in; her personality AND her character; who she is AND what she does. Let this not be perceived as the cheers of another love story. For he once mocked what you are reading and he once mocked what he now writes... Many men will write of their love for another but who will truly live it?
When you see him around her, you will know that he loves her. You will never question it. In his mind's eye, they walk hand-in-hand forever. They treat every obstacle as a bump in the road they will pass together. She is strong but should restless waters appear, he will carry her through knowing he'd rather do this with her than be on solid ground without her.
When he goes to bed at night, arms wrapped around her, he sleeps peacefully. In winter, it is neither cold nor darkness that wakes him; it is her warmth he feels laying there next to her!
He is learning that when true love visits, it leaves him vulnerable while wanting more. He has finally entered a relationship of great risk and reward; so much to lose by completely loving and yet the world and more to gain for doing so.
To be her one and only... To love him as much as he loves her... This is all he will ever need from her.
No man deserves favour from God but He will certainly have shown it to the one writing this if love and time to experience it with his Someone Special is granted!
I absolutely love it Wub!
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